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Tuesday 8 June 2021

Why the three day rule belongs in the past

Why the three day rule belongs in the past

Dating has changed in so many ways since the age of the cheesy chick flick movie. Gone are the accidentally bumping into 'the one' in the grocery store or while getting coffee. That's now been replaced by the continuous swiping and pinging of online dating notifications. Dating has become much quicker and fast paced, which is why I think old fashioned dating rules like the three day rule belong in the past way before online dating.

Three Day Rule Dating

What is the three day rule?

The three day rule was born out of all those romantic comedy movies in the 90s, you know the ones where the girl meets the boy, gives him her number and then nothing. It's normally accompanied with the girl chatting to her girlfriends about why he hasn't called before ah the 'three day rule' is mentioned. It's basically a really old fashioned notion that men should wait a whole three days after getting a womens number or meeting on a Cardiff dating site* to create suspense and to not appear needy.

Don't get me wrong I don't think we all need to be COMPLETELY accessible 24/7 but waiting three whole days before any contact whether that be text, or via the Cardiff dating* site you met on, it feels just too long in this fully digital world.

Why it needs to change

How many times do you think you pick up your phone in a day (on iPhone you can actually check this out and the results are horrific) on average people pick up their phone just under every 2 hours. If you're waiting 3 days, thats 36 times you've picked up your phone and chosen to actively do something other than contact the person you've just met or had a date with. That's a lot. In a world when out attention spans are diminishing quickly, and the abundance of singles out there vying for attention it's likely while you're sat twiddling your thumbs and obeying the antiqued 'three day rule' some other singleton is ready to pursue your date and try and get their attention.

The rule is also really sexist, it's the assumption that us poor feeble women have nothing better to do than sit around waiting for three days hoping and praying that some man gives us the slightest bit of attention.

It's old fashioned, and just doesn't fit with the dating sphere of the 21st century.

So when should I contact?

Honestly? there isn't a hard and fast time determined rule for this one. It kind of depends on how the contact started. If you've been out on a physical date, I always find it nice to check in that the person got home safe and to let them know I had a good night. I leave it closed as a statement and then if the other person wants to continue the conversation they can. 

My only personal rules and red flags when coming to texting and communication is to avoid the double (or triple) text. Send one and wait for a response, even if it's been read leave your phone alone. They'll get back to you when they have a chance. 

What do you think about the three day rule?
Three Day Rule

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